Sometimes it's so much easier to just shut down and put them walls up but why not take the harder road, even if you feel like you've been down this road too many times before. After the infatuation is the reality and maybe the colors are a different shade but the colors are the same nonetheless. I'm so good at acting like the tough guy, rolling my eyes and doing my own thing. Habits are just that, habits. Routines are just that, routines. Habits, routines, walls, eye rolls and toughness don't hold you when your cold, sad, worried or scared. They don't laugh at your silly jokes. They don't smile when you dance in the living room for no apparent reason beyond it's simply the thing to do. They certainly don't rub your neck when you're stressed. They also don't cuddle on the couch and watch Bones with you, allowing you to lust over David Boreanaz the whole time.
You see, I have to remember these things sometimes because, well there have been moments recently where I have been drawn towards all these habits, routines and the like. The full weight of my decision to move to Ohio is just starting to settle in. I am thankful that I am in a relationship with someone who allows me the space to feel all the things that go along with moving from NYC to suburban Northeast Ohio.
I will not put my love in a lockdown (yes I have been listening to Kanye) even if it sometimes seems like the easy way out because I pretty much have steered away from the easy way out and I'm stronger and more resilient for it.
Simply put, all you need is love.
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